This news story just came in over the wires! It's incredible, I
haven't seen it reported elsewhere yet so I'm just going to post
it in full to the site!
Higgs Boson Found
The theorized Higgs
boson, subject of intense research by physicists the
world over, was discovered this morning wedged between the
cushions of the Yonz family living room couch in Topeka Kansas.
Scientists the world over have hailed the discovery as a
tremendous advancement for fundamental physics, but have
expressed surprise at some of the particles unique attributes.
"The boson is certainly larger
than we expected. Our previous estimates had the particle
pegged at about 1 millionth of a nanometer. Instead it turns
out its closer in size to a ping-pong ball," said Dr. Adam
Finder, researcher at Fermilab.
The boson, which is bright green in appearance, was
discovered by the youngest member of the Yonz family, Barry
age 9, when he was looking for the remote control to the TV.
When Barry first happened on the particle, he was unsure of
what it was.
"When I first pulled it out of the couch I thought it was
the gobstopper I dropped in there last week," Barry went on
to add that after further testing, his discovery was in fact
the theorized Higgs boson which gives matter its mass, and
that it tastes like raspberry.
"It does come as a surprise," said Finder. "We had been
building particle accelerators for years trying to create
one of the bosons in a lab by smashing protons together, but
we were obviously just looking in the wrong spot."
In response to this discovery, scientists the country over
have been applying for grants to begin a nation-wide search
for any evidence of dark
behind old boxes in garages. The European Union meanwhile
has just approved funding to build a gigantic, 13 km wide
loveseat in hopes of discovering the even more elusive gluon.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Newest